Three Seats Behind Me in Home Economics
Oh God, no! I definitely do not like him like that. He is so sucky, just a total dirtbag. He’s the type of person that thinks it’s funny to fill Deirdre’s locker up to the brim with straws from the lunchroom. I mean, like, who does that? Only the worst of the worst. He reeks of cigarette smoke. Absolutely stinks. Sometimes I get a whiff of him when he walks by me in the hallway. It’s so disgusting. He even vapes inside. Like, does he think that the rest of us want to breathe that, too? So inconsiderate. I mean. It’s also just, like, such a bad habit.
He's also so conceited. Like, you can tell he thinks that everyone else thinks that he’s cool. Are you kidding me? Like, just because you show up to school every day wearing ripped jeans and an oversized T-shirt, you think people will think you’re, like, a rock star or something? Yeah, right! It’s almost comical. And like, that one time. He came to Anthony’s graduation party with grease on his face. Like, dude, we get it, you help fix classic cars for your summer job. It’s not that cool. News flash, bro, most of the Senior class has summer jobs.
And I will, like, never forget when he was a senior for the first time, and we were freshman, and we saw him snap Rosie Minker’s bra at the end of the hallway. I know! Totally gross. And, like, I don’t know if you saw this. But after he snapped her bra, he looked me square in the eyes and winked at me. I swear to God, I am, like, not joking! I think he, like, thought it was hot or whatever, but it was, like, totally not. He is such a womanizer. An absolute dirtbag. There is no way I like him like that.
is a senior Aerospace Engineering student
at the University at Buffalo. A lover of comedy, Haley is a sketch comedy writer and a performer with the Buffalo ComedySportz house improv team.